I’m the strongest girl you’ll see…
I’m the strongest girl you’ll see, but no matter how hard you try, I won’t believe that you love me because deep down, I don’t think I deserve to be loved. It has nothing to do with you. I just don’t believe that I deserve to be loved. But you won’t see me as the person pining for love. Instead, you’ll see me giving extra love because I know what it is like to not feel loved. I know the importance of love more than anyone else because I feel the dearth of it. I don’t know how one overcomes these hurdles. I don’t know how long it takes, but I try every day. It is a lot of effort. I’ll love and care for everyone a lot but I’ll never get so close that you leaving will hurt me. I’m the most loving, yet the most hermit-like person you’ll ever see. I will come give you support but then disappear before you know it. It’s not even my mind anymore, I think it’s my body that has learned to run away and crunch into itself to hide from other people. But I know it will open up. I know it will bloom. I know one day I’ll look back at this post and smile. For now, I just want to thank the people who have continued to love me despite my ability to think that I’m lovable, people who are my friends despite me maintaining a safe distance from them, people who understand and forgive me every day. Thank you, a BIG thank you.
P.S. When people are vulnerable and open, don’t show them pity. People who are capable of being vulnerable are STRONG. We share because we are not afraid to share the darkest parts of us because we know that we shine through the cracks in our souls. We recognize that people have ‘flaws’ that they accept and overcome over time. We share because we want to connect through our struggles too. It’s a real connection. We want to share and grow together.
Lots of love!
